ZiaNitori @ZiaNitori@masto.anarch.cc

cont.

need to finish up the rock pile still so that should be taller. i'm thinking on the underside of the wall of trying to grow some trees for vining things to learn to climb on. left some longer grasses in a section of the garden for a bit of habitat, and i havent really cleared out the beds that were already there of random grasses or put extra chips on them, still kinda undecided on what to do with them. there are a bunch of roses in the garden already and i'm going to get a couple different varieties of blackberries growing in a number of spots so it's going to be a pretty thorny garden but that should mean a lot of cool habitat. there's like 9 or so independent grape vines growing in there, the majority being in two clusters visible in the first two pics. really wanna get all these chips covered by a ground cover (hopefully a lot of strawberries) as soon as i can so i dont have keep watering the soil/chips to keep it hydrated as much.

got a bunch of chips with kammy yesterday, gonna get them down in the garden by the house and see how much i have left for other places and the stuff cleared from the pathway should be getting to the compost pile soon so tomorrow should be me cleaning up the yard and mowing provided the mower is working and then the compost can just sit for a month or so. idk what i'm going to do with the other plant material that's generated in the time being, maybe i'll just start another pile next to it and have that be where the start of the compost piles are

@exiliaex one more small thing for clarification with language, while it's definitely not entirely accurate i see religious behaviors as people trying to vibe out how to fit themselves and others into the body of the state and will illustrate religious thinking as something that is motivated by this end, though i'm aware that its probably more precise to consider even my own strong beliefs as something you could still categorize as fundamentally theological but i need to look more into older religiosity before i say that with too much confidence

@exiliaex you just cant talk to someone who's still fundamentally a religious person and say "we". "we" to a more independent creature is a category that contains the independent wills of themselves and the other creatures included in the statement. "we" to a thing that's been trained to be an appendage of a larger creature is a command. you are taking the mantle of a cluster of neurons giving instruction to some muscle tissue invoking the well functioning of the whole body. it takes a long time developing a relationship with another before you can really say "we" with any confidence in the first sense of the word and when you do activism around "common interest" over "common experiences" all you're doing is invoking the religious "we". that stuff is a crutch anyway. it's always so much more powerful to just focus on doing what's good for you in a way that works like a beacon for others to look to and learn from and the hivemind power-hungry trash that normally clogs up the room when you start talking about mutual interests will generally look elsewhere. you just actually have to have a confidence in your actions that comes from you, not by making reference to something external like the good of all and most people have no idea where to start looking when it comes to actually figuring out what they want because of the abuse they suffered in school or the family unit. sorry for the additional text wall btw i just didnt feel like i made a certain thing clear

@exiliaex like i get wanting to function in something of a group context, i play support far far better than i lead because i'm much better at criticizing something than coming up with a coherent direction out of whole cloth but i happen to be in a situation where i have to be leading not only myself but others for the moment. it feels like tedium to weigh out all the different options for things as they relate to everything that could be important to you and then make a clear decision, i'd rather be being critical of the plans of someone just a little bit more impulsive/less hesitant than me, because since it feels like tedium i'll reflexively get avoidant to that kind of stuff which functionally means i get avoidant about making direction for my life unless i specifically do something to compensate for that. i think that in order to have a healthy relationship with others you have to have the ability to actually be independent from them, you have to have the ability to make your own direction if you need to, you have to have the ability to feed/shelter/ect yourself and without that you can only have relationships of domination and dependency and most people have been crippled with being totally incapable of making direction for themselves relying either on direct orders or, if they want to look more independent, just solving for what's socially acceptable and contorting their soul to desire that. you cant just start talking to people like this about "groups" and mutually beneficial stuff because they dont solve for what's also beneficial to them because they've never tried to do that calculus before, the most they'll know how to do is notice when they're getting screwed over relative to someone else. all you're doing when talking to people about what's mutually beneficial is invoking the good of all which is functionally just speaking the holy language of authority at them and creating and imposing the category of a group on them might as well be what workplaces do when they do the "we're like family here" rhetoric. the aggressively independent language i use is to ward off and expose this subservient dependent logic that seemingly everyone else is running on while providing an illustration of an autonomous ideal that can be worked towards to build the foundation of something healthier, something less coercive.

@exiliaex i think human beings are clearly at the stage where you can consider them a colony species if you stop taking what they say about themselves and their actions at face value, faces are only still used to assist with assimilation and as a matter of habit. when i see people talk about the state as leviathan i see that same recognition that these people are merely part of something bigger than themselves, something that reproduces itself with it's own drives. i see specialization as the retarding of the autonomous human to perform simpler tasks in specific areas of the body, to receive orders from only specific sources, to tolerate longer periods of inactive captivity, to be exchangeable and replaceable by another without too much disturbance like any other specialized cell. families, businesses, churches, gangs and subsections of governments all form their own little organs each with their own function that together creates a beast called society whose body takes on a more distinctive shape every time a new fence or cage is put up. the "cogs that dont fit the machine" line is meant to frame the machine as this larger creature. the goal then in that illustration is to take the pieces that get cycled out and replaced by society and point them towards autonomy so they can form healthier relationships like much of the other species on this planet instead of being abused inside a rotting corpse of a creature that's about to choke on it's own waste from it's infinite metabolism and die.

@exiliaex justification is something for another, reasons are what you can use for yourself. the feeling of wanting something "better" for others is usually just flimsy cope for wanting to control and ensnare the actions of others. i dont need the right to be in public to want to fight for my autonomy wherever i am and i think this attachment to the framing of rights is positioned on top of a rhetorical trap that opportunist types will use to twist into some form of obligation and control over others. you cannot give these types a single inch of space to use your virtues as their tool. i say "teach them" not to diminish the collaborative effort that learning is but more that i feel like i had the space to develop myself in ways that have made me very distinctively more autonomous than others, to the degree where i keep learning new things everyday about how different nearly everyone seems to be from me and i think that autonomy is a critical skill for being able to have non abusive/dependent relationships in the first place. i think a lot of cool people do try to head in the same relative direction i've headed with myself but i rarely ever see anyone with as clear of a perspective on it as mine in both expressions and actions. there is no "existing in groups" you are relating to several different people, abstracting that to a group gives the social more power than it already has and is also a failure to understand the complexity of the relationships you're in. there is no norm that can be applied uniformly across a group that wouldnt be reducing something that has no need to be reduced. there is no shared experience, every body is different and stores their experiences differently. it's a terrible disservice, especially to very different creatures, to reducing things down to common experience. you can of course keep moving closer to *some* kind of understanding as your mind paints a more complete illustration of the being you're interacting with, but you could always be interpreting some part of them completely wrong and you're probably going to be blind to so many things like that simply because it's convenient to understand things to be "like you fundamentally". wrt the colony stuff it's slightly reductive but i think it works for the purpose of illustration but i see colony species as a potential for a multitude of creatures to come together to eventually form a distinct body of it's own, think the evolution of single celled things to multicellular.

spent some time walking around the yard and transplanting stuff and i've gotten another grape in, one of the hybrid versions of the blackberries and some more mint from near the pond, also i'm pretty sure the carrots are coming up

lazy few days but i finished up the acorns the other day and today i cleared out the path though i still need to pick everything up and get it to the compost. tomorrow i'm gonna try to get a ton of chips with kammy, maybe picking up some more dirt. i think i really want to move towards planting a lot of stuff around the pond and clearing up the little peninsula. i was going to wait until i had compost to put down there but i might just chuck chips everywhere and amend in compost later. every time i see a plant i dont recognize somewhere i try to end up transplanting it to fill out a lot of the area we've put chips down already and it seems like its working so i'll probably be able to get the ground well covered with both chips and plants so things like mushrooms can start thriving and the landscape starts retaining a lot more water. want more ground covers and big keystone plants but i keep mostly running into shrubby stuff which is fine but i wanna get these chips covered and shaded. still need to finish moving the rest of the rocks for the lizards but i think i might be able to get the pile high enough for the nearby grape to use as support

*guy with the thickest indian accent you've ever heard to someone speaking dutch on a website used by people all over the world*
"english motherfucker, do you speak it?

if all the struggle against the state amounts to is delaying the optimization of these wretched creatures by a few centuries or whatever it's still worth it. the human brain is far too interesting to be wasted on following orders until the end of time

i think i remember people discoursing about how talking about the tokenization that some minorities do to themselves is actually bigoted because you're like making assumptions about what should be in their interests but like you can only watch a fly walk into a glue trap so many times before you have to conclude that things arent going to end well here. plus the way these people are used to enforce cuck behavior on minorities and are often the front lines of social domination in minority spaces makes me completely comfortable treating this kind of behavior as virtually identical to signing up to be a cop, it's just a less formal process and they dont really get paid for it lol

ran into a brazilian yelling at people who speak other languages on a duel links website to speak english because "it's only fair" cause he had to

my most conservative political opinion is that i dont care whether or not the state is capable of surviving in a way where it's not doing unsustainable growth i still want to kill it. i want my kids or their kids to be able to live in a world where leviathans dont stalk the earth

@exiliaex rights are a thing granted from something you are comfortable being subordinate to, a creature who respects themselves as an autonomous being thinks about what they are capable of doing and how to get to someplace that's better, not fiddling with what they have the justification to do. i agree that groups exist insofar as humans are a weird colony thing and it's often more coherent to engage with a colony as its own thing but i'm not really interested in talking to people who's behavior is better described as a function of the state as being a part of something bigger than themselves, i'm looking for the cogs that dont fit in the machine and trying to teach them how to move on their own and that takes engaging with them as an individual so they can start to see themselves that way

@exiliaex groups are nodes of power and nodes of power attract fascist personality types like flies to shit, i think you can only ever work with people, with individuals but you also gotta accept that most people arent really interested in deviating from reproducing the current state of things as much as they'll claim otherwise. it's convenient for their social cohesion to not see the part they play in it and their radicalness will only extend to seeing how others reproduce what they consider to be the ills of society. in general you're probably better served to focus on reaching out to something that isnt severely retarded in the first place and focus on communicating with non human animals and hope some humans follow your example than to do something that looks like the preaching and organizing that the rest of the fascists do to play power games with each other and filter deviance.

@exiliaex but they dont have every reason to understand why it's fucked, conformity to power for it's own sake is a good survival strategy

garden is cleared and we got woodchips down, we started processing acorns, we planted a bunch of plants up in the dry part of the yard, we got manure in the compost and i've got a rock pile going for the lizards that i need to finish. gotta get up the road to get more chips cause once i'm done getting them all down in the garden out front i'll try to get some pictures. gonna try to get out there today and clear out the path behind the pond to get more material for the compost and then get the last bit of the long grass mowed to cover that and the compost should be good to sit for a bit before i try to turn it. been trying to play with one of the cows (his name is santiago) and we got a little basketball for him to butt his head into but everytime i've tried loki has scared him off because he wanted to play with the ball too or he's been more interested in the food i was giving him. i've given him and his mom a bunch of treats and i'm getting them to learn that they can ask for a treat if i'm doing work that generates treats like clearing out the vines in the garden or raking up long cut grass. still working on the pool with joe, i would've liked to dig out the bottom a bit smoother and less steep but i didnt realize joe wanted to get shit done sooner cause he didnt wanna leave the liner sitting all bunched up. once things start coming up back through the woodchips i wanna start putting more rocks down in the garden area so there's more habitat for critters. there was a bunch of stuff already living in the area we cleared and i'm hoping once more of a ground cover is established they can bounce back stronger in that area now that the ground holds water better there