how does someone "want a partner" in the abstract? like how do you want a relationship in the abstract, how do you want someone that you dont even know? why is there some prescribed role you have in your life that you need a body to fill? if you want deeper and more substantial relationships in general in your life i get that, but that's not what's meant when "partner" is specified. a role is being referred to and it carries with it a set of expectations and behavioral rituals. what is desired is a compatible body that can keep up with the expectations, a body who's behavior is dominated by your will in some capacity. once this person moves into the relationship they wanted before, there's more that they want. maybe they want to be made to feel special, maybe they want to feel excited, a more ideal partner can be found in the mind and forced onto the actually existing partner at implied, and often obfuscated threat of breaking the social contract. they arent aware they're doing this and pointing this out to them would yield nothing except their unconscious mind finding a way out of the relationship sooner. at its absolute best a little bit of this kind of anxiety in a relationship can function like each person is pushing each other to be the best version of themselves that they can, but 99% of the time it's just two people just seeing how much they can dominate the others behavior until someone's unconscious realizes they're losing that battle and finds the first exit out.