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my fasting is now pretty routine and i'm hovering at 180 and i'm still continuing to drop weight. going to get back into the heavier workout schedule i had before the girls came over where i only smoke after i work out and every time i feel anxiety i get up from the computer and work out. the plan is to slowly phase out smoking every time i work out to just be very occasional and eventually be able to take bigger tolerance breaks. this should happen within 2 weeks and if it doesnt i should probably just stop smoking and reset tolerance regardless. once the weather starts cooperating i'll be able to start my day with running which will make all of this shit significantly easier to be consistent on. my abs are already visible and not having all that fat on me has made me noticeably less sluggish and done wonders for my mood which is helping me keep up with practicing the guitar and helping me get myself set up to practice the piano. i still gotta find a consistent way to get out in the woods to practice singing and i gotta get in a routine that has me journaling throughout the day, but that probably gets easier when i'm running every morning cause journaling after a run feels pretty natural

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i dont even feel like i've got proper self discipline yet, i'm just maneuvering myself around my habits and trying to hold myself to a rule or two like "no smoking without working out first" or "no eating until a certain time of day"

i feel like more hard control over myself is possible and i'm getting more capable of it every day

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