I straight up am making my ADHD worse by switching between 20 different books and papers and trying to keep notes for myself.

I will lay awake until 3am in the morning after reading a few pages of Vol2 and trying to work out in my head some key questions.

I've started using OneNote to keep track of everything. I try to copy and save any rants I go on in DMs with people about X or Y, because they're useful reminders of my previous train of thought .

It's weird. I've never cared to keep a diary or remember my own thoughts until recently. The way my memory works always was strange, and mostly served to torture me emotionally. But now that I have a purpose in using it, I do notice that I've started to make associations with past moments in my life again. Some good, some bad.

Did I mention that I listen to a TTS read me pdfs most of the day at work? I'm a bit insane, but also, it's a good way to squeeze out as much value out of the work boredom. Still can't believe I'm paid to mostly do nothing from 12 to 9pm. At least I can feel this self-hypnosis is having an effect on my intellect.