thinking there's a correlation between how willing someone is to just respond to shit while they're half asleep without waking themselves up and how scared that person is of other people. it feels like the same jumps in reasoning are made when someone is just saying whatever random bullshit feels like a response to what someone just said out of context both in talking to someone while their half asleep and while getting into an argument in which they start getting defensive and that defensive behavior comes with an unthinking rigidity that to me is the signature of fear. i wish i could just give people the feeling i have of not needing to respond, of being comfortable enough with myself to not need to prove anything about myself to others or at least whatever is in me that gets me to act like that's true sometimes. it feels like a lot of yall learned to just look up to heros so they'd save you instead of trying to find the courage in you to be one