ZiaNitori @ZiaNitori@masto.anarch.cc

@exiliaex banger

queers talk about sexuality labels like astrology signs

i'm usually not too hard on myself for grammar fuckups cause it's usually explained by me being baked and not proof reading a thought that got interrupted but whenever i use the wrong "there/their" i feel like a dipshit

another thing that's really lit my fire on this one is pun intended my partner phoenix, i dont entirely know where there thoughts are on gender rn but they're on low dose t and i'm definitely using he/him pronouns with him in front of family to bother them more. one of the things you start to figure out when you watch ftm transition is actually there are rules about where peoples attentions are directed in conversations that fall along gendered-ish lines where men are taken "more seriously" than women and basically no one takes trans men seriously and it's extremely frustrating. it's funny most of my conversational habits work so much better if people actually saw me as a woman in that sense, but because they read me as speaking with the gravity of a man all of a sudden i come off as threatening deranged belligerent and everyone gets to signal danger to each other. i shouldnt be the one with the reigns of the conversation, it's just that everyone stops to listen to me because my voice to them signals that something very important is being said. on phoenix's end of things i suspect an opposite dynamic is occurring where they put a lot more thought and care into the things they say so their words usually carry more weight to them but no one's listening. you cant ever point this out to an individual, where someone's attention goes is deliberately evasive to them especially in a world that tries to hold you accountable for your attention so there can never really be an anti bigotry push that abolishes this state of affairs in this society

i didnt read the aella article because i find it painful to read her writing (even tho i think i often like the way she thinks) but either alie or phoenix told me something that was in there was a bit about how she could never shake the feeling that maybe she was inherently inferior and now every time someone speaks with gender essentialism in their mouths it makes me want to tear their throats out. i dont care if it's "vent posting" i dont get on a screed about degenerate methheads or something when i get all my shit stolen by methheads i lived with, i turned up deep fried frez and talked shit about them specifically because i'm not a nazi. every "feminist" bitching about "men" as a category is in the same breath uttering assumptions about how well behaved they think women are or ought be. it's disgusting misogynistic bullshit on top of the misandry

for any of you wondering what's been up with my fixation on bad feminism/the downplaying or celebration of misandry here's what's been up to the best of my understanding. at first it was just me doing my normal thing when i find inconsistencies and push back on them and in particular my experience with misandry is literally what caused me to identify as a woman in the first place so it was always a topic i was going to keep coming back to. but more recently i was having a conversation with an actual anarchist who was afab and they said on the topic of there still being segregated facilities "people really just arent ready for that conversation yet" and i think something fucking broke in me. over the next few weeks fuming about this shit on twitter i started connecting a lot of shit in my life that made me more and more upset at the way people ignore or reinforce this fucked up apartheid society. i remembered growing up and having an afab friend when i was really young, they would come over and play on the swingset and look at bugs and play with dinosaurs with me and seemingly neither of the adults in our lives happened to mention any stupid shit about our presumed genders so it was just a normal friendship. they move and we both end up being in different schools and i never follow up with trying to hang out again because i'm just kind of like that, but once i get to school the boys and girls are just split, you're taught to be hostile to anyone that doesnt respect this split either. i dont really figure out what's going on because the party line is that boys and girls are the same and i've seen no reason to think otherwise. no one will say it directly, they'll always say something else, but they all act like they think there are differences. at some point later on all the way in middle school i have a memory of seeing that friend again. they'd had red hair they now dyed to black and were wearing goth clothing which where i grew up basically just meant you were being bullied. i'm guessing they didnt respect some of the gender rules and got punished for it by some slimy fascist's spawn. this shit makes me want to scream

why do you people let others use your name so freely?

literally just laying the groundwork for fascist takeover but because they're nominally on your side you let them right in

the weird misandry, the forced framing of everything as a gender war, this isnt feminism, it's a reactionary christian personality type doing a roleplay thing with more traditional right wing reactionaries to justify their weird narratives about men and women being inherently different, that these categories mean something that those in power get to dictate

anyone who takes a critical tone of these things is painted as a misogynist or a zionist and even people who agree with the criticism just sort of think you just shouldnt say it or something, it ruins the mood or some shit. fucking embarrassing, our radicals cant do anything but read the room for their politics!

for the same reasons i ask "what is so particularly fascinating about the genocide israel is doing in comparison to all the others" i have to ask "what is so particularly fascinating about sexual assault in comparison to all the other ways gendered abuse occurs"

it should bother you when things that capture the attention of reactionaries are being rallied around but yall just keep engaging basically uncritically. keep boosting people who flirt with antisemitism and "protect women" misogyny because no one really seems capable of calling it out anyway

crazy how metoo was a moment of reactionary hysteria in the same tradition of the witch trials but leftists are still coping that there's something to be salvaged in that great reaffirmation of carceral feminism expressed over a sexual degeneracy scare

i actually dont know how people in nominally anti-bigotry spaces tolerate essentialist nonsense. shouldnt it bother you when someone makes a general statement about categories of people?? like at best it's fetishistic

sorry but you dont actually hate this stuff if you dont want the guards gone, you just want them to kill the right targets

people getting upset at genocide happening? i'll fucking buy it when they can say prison abolition with their full chest, until then all i see are proud wannabe martyrs. genuinely disgusting

@batkoanarkhiya i just ramble about stuff here and sometimes other people show up

@AlesanderEtx makes sense. for me it feels impossible to think about how i'm going to design my house without thinking about how a garden/habitat and other stuff is going to be designed around it