The only thing I can do right now is channel my anger and fears into action. The constant deluge of hate, the constant signals of the rapid acceleration towards war and death terrifies me and it makes me feel like a failure every time I see my loved ones fall into sadness because of this endless hate.

I am such a pale ghost of what I wish I was, of what I need to be. Most of the time I'm just desperately clambering together whatever I can to keep going forward. I had lofty dreams of being an "artist" but mostly what I do now is desperately try to get my message out by any means in the hopes that I can deter the worst outcome possible. I don't know that I'll ever be able to muster the brainspace to create anything artistically lasting...but maybe I can at least ensure the next gen of trans ppl can do so.