DemonMama @DemonMama@masto.anarch.cc

twitter andies really be like

"oh boy I love scrolling through hundreds of confusing contextless conflicts about emotionally painful topics relevant to me only in that they make my heart and stomach hurt so I can hollowly chuckle at a single barely-edited meme referencing a current event!"

No joke, the exclusive porners are the only ones living okay over on twitter and even then only the ones who can tank being flashbanged on the timeline by gore from an ongoing warzone or actual seig-heiling nazis between posts of cocks of gorgeous women

Its been forever since I posted on here, but I've continued to gather followers which feels really nice!

I just feel paralyzed by social media as of late. I have the posters urge, dont get me wrong! I have for a long time, but nothing seems worthy of saying *anywhere*. So I only post on youtube, but my youtube presence is limiting because its fucking youtube and everything has to be filtered through the lens of utilizing my stream time well and thinking about the audience I'm trying to build there and the TOS.

In short, social media fucking blows. I miss being able to have fun and post about shit and get into conversations about whatever

I'll figure it out in time I'm sure. But right now I have this terrible restlessness and its driving me nuts.

I've uploaded a video almost every single day of this year...what a wild year it has been

Fanboys are hating in the comments of this PC Gamer article for the description mocking the amount of in-game currencies in Diablo 4 but its legit toooo much

Gold, Murmuring Obols, Seeds of Hatred/Red Dust, Aberrant Cinders, Grim Favors, Platinum (premium currency), and soon 2-3 MORE in-game currencies. This type of MMO-inspired design SUCKS. It turns off new players and it makes the game feel like a mess.

I have been riding dangerously close to burnout lately and its been a huge struggle.

This year has been a huge success for my channel. I just crossed 25 THOUSAND subscribers to my YouTube Show, people are loving my videos, and I feel that I've covered a lot of important topics and issues this year. Not only that, but I've somehow managed to reach a level of regularity with my content that most channels on youtube struggle with - a high quality video segment uploaded every single day with a unique, good-looking thumbnail.

My personal life has also been exceedingly busy. This year alone I've traveled an insane amount, mostly by road for various reasons. Southern California, Utah, Canada. About 3,500 miles on road trips to put a number to it.

So much rewarding experience in all that travel. I've had new foods, seen and recorded so many new birds (as many of you know, I LOVE birds + birdwatching), and I've started to delve back into interests I had to set aside in the past due to life circumstances throughout these travels.

It has, nonetheless been incredibly intense and emotionally taxing to do so much travel.

Lately I have found myself overwhelmed with fear and anxiety about "content". About how I can possibly keep up with the invisible boss of the algorithm. I keep finding myself slipping back into the work mentality that destroyed me in my early 20s, but minus the immediate tangible rewards and recognition.

The truth is, I can't please the algorithm. Not forever, maybe not even right now even WITH all the successes I've been having.

I'm proud of myself for keeping my streams and videos coming regularly this year and I realize I NEED to change my mental approach to this stuff or else everything my fans love me for will disappear from my work.

People love my show and my streams *because* I do things differently, because I talk about things in a unique way and present my ideas unlike anyone else.

Anyway, just needed to get these thoughts out somewhere I know they'll be appreciated. 🤘😈

🇨🇦I HAVE UNDERGONE INTENSE CANADIFICATION AND EMERGED FROM THE OTHER SIDE 🇨🇦

The poutine was sick and so was the coffee

I think some people might get mad at my Tears of the Kingdom review today. I really liked the game but it desperately needs critique. Too much unalloyed praise for a game that has some significant problems imo!

I have really enjoyed The Outer Wilds. I beat the main game last night and really loved the ending (though I have critiques for the final puzzle of the game!)

A really heartfelt, cozy and fun game with an intriguing core mystery and good if relatively easy physics gameplay and sciency puzzles.

Truly amazing soundtrack.

I started the expansion “Echoes of the Eye” last night and feel very strongly about it. New direction for visuals and music that is equally strong. Excited to beat the expac!

This year has been a year of truly breathtaking music discoveries. Every single year since ~2015 I have kept an on-going, chronological playlist of songs I discover and fall in love with. It lets me track my mood and my experiences via music, and also I can see which years I spent less time with music and which years I spent more.

This year has been a year of much incredible music. Everything from totally new bands I had never heard of, to killer video game and movie OSTs. Its been a good year for my playlist :)

In the last week and a half Ive played two games that couldnt be more tonally opposite: Citizen Sleeper, with its sadly sweet yet beautifully endless sense of hope, and Signalis, unforgiving and unrelenting in horror and heartbreak.

I can't help but feel my experience of each of the games was enhanced by the fact I played them in such proximity.

Both games grapple with dystopian settings rife with repression, exploitation, and severe dehumanization. In both games you play a character that is a sapient agent but denied recognition as a "human." Both games take place mainly in highly dangerous areas of mass exploitation - metal salvage yards for Citizens Sleeper and Mines for Signalis. Both games severely limit the tools with which you can fight back against those who wish you harm. And both games feature a biological clock - your body is breaking down in real time and there is no way to stop it.

Signalis offers no reprieve from the horror. It presents a wholly corrupted world from which there is no escape. A world in which the tomb we built for ourselves is already sealed and all we can do is bear witness to our own suffering and the suffering of the characters we meld with. In this way it is cautionary, it terrifies us into recognizing that our world could yet become so dark and reminds us to respect the depths of possible suffering.

Citizen Sleeper never shies away from depictions of horrific events. It's an incredibly politically charged game in which you play the whole game as a person with literally no legal rights. In order to survive, you must find the cracks in the systems that bind us and crush us, to slip through and ultimately try to thrive even in the shadows. Urging us to look closer at the world around us and to seize every potential for solidarity, Citizen Sleeper focused my attention on the lines still available to alleviate suffering and prevent future captivity.

Signalis sharpened pain and fear while Citizen Sleeper urged me to take solace in the tools still available to me.

Remarkably complementary games despite their complete tonal difference. I can't help but feel that I'll be thinking of Signalis and Citizen Sleeper both for a very long time to come.

Signalis is a really scary game and I'm really liking it a lot. Everyone is a cyborg and their organs are mutating and you have to crawl through meat and horror constantly with your weak body and a few guns. Cybernetic Silent Hill, no joke. Loving it.

Ive been resting up for the last few days after my last stream threw out my voice and I have watched SO MANY GOOD MOVIES

All Quiet on the Western Front

The Prince (technically a stage play in video form)

The Empire Strikes Back

and

Silent Hill (2006) okay this one isnt like GREAT but I still like it and its fun

cant wait to talk about them on stream once my voice is no longer lost lmao

I have so many opinons to share about Phantom Menace and Attack of the Clones on next stream once Im back home O.O

Our journey has been somewhat interrupted by weather and food poisoning :( doe got sick :((

Doing a lot better today thankfully after getting a day and a half of consistent rest! hopefully the return trip will go smoothly for us!

Just completed Star Wars: Jedi Fallen Order and I really enjoyed it. My review on yesterday's stream holds strongly.

I got 100% of all secrets, chests, and unlockables because I really did enjoy exploring the beautiful planets and getting the bits of lore. Proud of that :)

The exploration is very fun, the environments are really well done visually, and the boss fights are intense and engaging.

The weak spots are in late-game enemy variety, the extreme bugginess of the environment and collision detection, and the wasteful overuse of "sliding segments" and other "cinematic action" sequences.

The actual cinematics look really nice and I quite enjoyed them when I wasn't having to slide through an obligatory and incredibly easy mud or ice tunnel.

While the dialogue writing isn't perfect, and some of it is a *little* awkward, the themes of the story shine through very strongly and are built on throughout the games levels and dialogue. While the ending was very linear and the enemy variety had completely fallen off by the last 10% of the game, I actually quite liked the storyline conclusion and found it really endearing.

All in all, I enjoyed my experience with Star Wars: Jedi Fallen Order and will most certainly be giving Jedi Survivor a try when it comes out!