#fediblock for Are0h at h-i.social for unrepentant misgendering, aka transphobia and enbyphobia
it pains me to do this but i can't just sit idly by while my fellow queers are dehumanized. i know a lot of people like this guy and the stuff he does. but we wouldn't allow anyone else to misgender people on fedi and just get away with it, so why should this be any different? and it's not like it was just a one-time accident. he's doing it repeatedly knowing full-well the implications and continually trying to justify it
misgendering is NEVER okay. even if you dislike somebody. anything less than unquestioning respect for whatever pronouns somebody might have shows a severe lack of care for the trans and nonbinary community as a whole. an injury to one is an injury to all. i don't care if somebody literally murdered your dog or something you can't fucking misgender them. there's a baseline of human decency here
normally on cyberpunk.lol we try our hardest to stay out of fedi meta. but it hurts so bad to see people largely rally behind a person who dehumanizes queer identities on purpose. i have to take a stand and stick to my principles. i know it'll hurt. but i have to. i know there'll be backlash but it's worth it to be true to my values
btw i'm definitely not saying you should harass him. just block and move on
https://h-i.social/@are0h/112957244630941245
https://h-i.social/@are0h/112957712281689753
https://h-i.social/@are0h/112957745584762628
please don't defederate us over this btw lol. i rely on mutual aid from the fediverse to survive. by encouraging people to defederate us en masse you'd be actively attempting to isolate me from my support network. this could have DEADLY consequences if i'm no longer able to recieve the help i need. that's basically attempted murder with extra steps. and this isn't even that goddamn important
i don't like hate the guy i just think nobody should be allowed to wantonly misgender queer people that shouldn't be a controversial statement
cis people don't get misgendered when they do horrible shit so why is it suddenly okay with queer trans nonbinary people?
and fwiw YES i HAVE gone out of my way to look up the pronouns of people who've harassed me. people we've had to defederate. because it's basic fucking decency towards all queer people
idgaf if you have someone defederated it takes ten seconds to open up their profile on their instance and look
i'm not trying to take sides in the screencapped conflict btw. and for the people asking why i haven't made a post about david harassing Are0h... i'm not too familiar with that whole meta situation tbh. i just saw a lot of meta about misgendering people you don't like. and then i saw the source of it. and i felt i needed to take action because intentional misgendering is NEVER okay and defending it after the fact even moreso
to be extremely explicit: racist harassment is bad. and you should absolutely not do it
and yes, the fediverse definitely does have a bad racism problem
this is hardly an apology. it's a dismissal and minimization
@vantablack it IS an admission that they misgendered them unintentionally, which is very different from willingly doing so for the sake of harm.
This is something that abolitionists talk about harm reduction and acknowledgement. It'll never be perfect and seeking it only helps to replicate the systems we're aiming to eradicate.
@jalcine @vantablack that’s the exact problem. He *did* misgender intentionally to cause harm and won’t even apologize. The posts I see in the screenshots are textbook transphobia, where gender is wielded as a weapon against a trans person.
@destroy@masto.anarch.cc @jalcine@todon.eu @vantablack@cyberpunk.lol No, he did not. He has had David blocked for ages and had no way of knowing David's pronouns when that post was made.
@vantablack @jalcine @aud he literally said he doesn’t respect David’s identity or humanity I don’t know how much more clear it can be?
@aud @jalcine @vantablack so I can call the Filipino who raped me racial slurs?
@destroy@masto.anarch.cc @jalcine@todon.eu @vantablack@cyberpunk.lol Don't engage in hyperbole. I'm very sorry that happened to you, but do NOT compare Ro unknowingly using the wrong pronouns for David to rape.
@vantablack @jalcine @aud i’m comparing it to racial slurs. and it isn’t unknowingly anymore. Ro has been saying that misgendering someone isn’t wrong.
@destroy@masto.anarch.cc @vantablack@cyberpunk.lol @jalcine@todon.eu Ro literally came back and gave it more thought. And you... fine, yeah, I did get that backwards. And no, it wouldn't be fine! A racist slur is different from a misgendering. Why? Because pronouns aren't slurs; you can't accidentally say one. You CAN accidentally use the wrong pronoun when all you know is someone's name, especially when it's typically a gendered one.
@aud @vantablack @jalcine it’s not about an accidental misgendering it’s about the stance that David’s gender is something that doesn’t need to be respected
@destroy@masto.anarch.cc @vantablack@cyberpunk.lol @jalcine@todon.eu Which he backed down from. But ffs, again: why are ONLY Ro's actions and statements up for argument here? Why is that the only thing anyone is bothered by and not the DDOSing, the harassment, the isolation and blocking of Black led communities?
@jalcine @vantablack @aud he literally didn’t back down from it where did he ever back down?
@destroy@masto.anarch.cc @jalcine@todon.eu @vantablack@cyberpunk.lol oh for; the one in the thread above? And also the context?
This narrative: That Ro intentionally misgendered and will always misgender? is FALSE. Ro got David's pronouns incorrect and made a post about how he basically doesn't care about David's pronouns. This isn't about revoking gender; this is about "I'm not going to take the time to ensure I'm giving proper respect to my abuser while they're abusing me." It did not apply to all trans people, nor did it have anything to do with David's gender at all, in fact. It's about how people keep prioritizing David's gender and an unintentional use of the wrong pronouns over Ro's safety and freedom to not be harassed.
That someone has decided to raise this issue from the dead and leave out a ton of the context surrounding it just makes it that much more important. Once again, Ro is thrust into the spotlight. Once again, a false narrative of events is spread. Reconsider your analysis of the situation.
@aud @jalcine @vantablack how am i supposed to interpret “i don’t give a fuck about how a racist identifies” other than deliberately deciding that respecting gender identity is a matter of good will?
@destroy@masto.anarch.cc @jalcine@todon.eu @vantablack@cyberpunk.lol By what it is: "I am going to protect myself and put my safety and the harms being done to me first before I go and stalk my abuser and make sure I don't accidentally hurt their feelings".
@destroy@masto.anarch.cc @jalcine@todon.eu @vantablack@cyberpunk.lol I'm starting to get upset because you're not listening and I cannot spend all my rather precious energy on repeating myself, so I'm going to block you. If you ever decide to reconsider your position on this, feel free to try and reach out.
@aud @jalcine @vantablack then why didn’t he say something like that? Why did he attack their identity instead? Why should i believe he meant something different than what he said when ive never seen him say anything different?
@destroy @aud @jalcine @vantablack you have been proposing that a victim of harassment could not dehumanize its harasser, which is some level of morality out of reach of any normal person which neither the Mother Theresa did satisfy. The responsability of dehumanizing a relationship (personal, social, polítical, wherever) is always of the harasser, not to the other side, nor mutual. Its a basic notion of the damage involved, the damage against The Other as a construct.
@fsologureng @jalcine @vantablack @aud so I *do* get to call my rapist slurs
@aud @jalcine @vantablack @destroy
Ro did not apologize for saying that the humanity of someone shouldn't be respected if they're racist. This is crucial. Respect for every person's humanity regardless of their actions cannot ever be put in question. This is plain bigotry.
@lulu@hachyderm.io @jalcine@todon.eu @vantablack@cyberpunk.lol @destroy@masto.anarch.cc Except that's not what happened. And how is someone being racist respecting the humanity of the other person? How is that not at least just as bad? When you include that tech.lgbt has been harassing Ro for a while now but Ro has literally only ever had this to say about David, how is that not worse?
@aud @jalcine @vantablack @destroy
"I am under no obligation to respect the humanity of someone who has caused so much harm to people who look like me."
Enough with the whataboutism. The context doesn't matter. This statement is harmful and bigoted. A direct apology addressing it is needed.
@aud @jalcine @vantablack @destroy
Just to be clear, I know nothing about the actions of david and it really doesn't matter. They might be the worst human on earth. I am not defending them.
My argument is plain and simple: no action any human can do, heinous as it may be, can ever take away their humanity. The humanity of all humans must be respected.
When a police officer decides to smack me upside the head with a baton, I'm in no position to acknowledge their humanity (as that transferability is lost). I've seen comparisons of rape to digital text use and that's how I know this is off the rails now.
What y'all demonstrated here is that Y'all are more interested in being Right™️ instead of acknowledging transmisognyny (which at its root requires direct harm, like weaponizing their identity to their immediate harm).
AFAIK the root issue re: being on the blocklist isn't an issue anymore. Ro called himself in on what he did (however imperfect you found it).
@vantablack Y'all didn't begin asking for an apology, y'all began asking for a ban.
Additionally, NONE of y'all have exerted this principle of energy when Black trans or GCF folks are getting both misgendered AND having racial statements hurled at them for months.
I'm personally disappointed at the use of terminology ideally used to unify folks being used in a tone policing and near-digitially carceal fashion. There has been no request for bridging. No attempt to even pull in the victim y'all are defending into play. Instead their racial disparaging nature has been the implicit payload y'all are carrying to the end of the line.
@aud @jalcine @vantablack @lulu how do you know what energy I have exerted? You know nothing about me
@jalcine @lulu @destroy @vantablack @aud@fire.asta.lgbt Vanta isn’t “tone policing.” The problem isn’t Ro’s tone, it’s Ro’s repeated transphobia.
Cis people’s genders aren’t conditional on their good behavior, so why is mine?
@aud @lulu @jalcine @vantablack @destroy
Yeah receipts please?
I've heard this said but this is all still massive accusations without any receipts of any OP justifying in the first place the accusation of racism and then in the second place nothing. Ever.. justifies. Misgendering. And if you can't get over that, then you have a problem
@aud @jalcine @vantablack @destroy
I do this often I say the wrong pronoun, when I'm corrected I apologize I am mortified I am embarrassed and I do my best to make sure that the person that I misgendered knows that it was a mistake and I hope that I can learn how to do a better job next time
Is the difference
It's the Nazi bar thing You're saying it's just a little issue It's not a little issue
@aud @jalcine @vantablack @destroy
And what is more, when someone is painting themselves as a leader they haven't even higher obligation to be above reproach
To hide behind euphemisms and turns of logic and toss-offs as excuses for something is absolutely not acceptable
@aud @jalcine @vantablack @destroy Not at all what fae did. The point was: Dehumanization is wrong even against a rapist (like faer example). Dehumanization is wrong even against a racist (like Ro's example).
@lulu@hachyderm.io @jalcine@todon.eu @vantablack@cyberpunk.lol @destroy@masto.anarch.cc Please just jump into the other conversation thread I'm having with destroy if you want to add in, I can't handle having this same conversation in multiple places.
@destroy@masto.anarch.cc @vantablack@cyberpunk.lol @jalcine@todon.eu Why should he respect his harasser? And the "misgendering" was literally not on purpose.