thinking about the role i was previously trying to play in online discourses and how much it feels like i failed in the spaces i was in.
as someone who has had a longtime interest in movements against injustice, someone who discovered radical leftism and anarchism in their late teens, i was continuously trying to bring notions of self-organization, direct action, and change through resistance against structures that harm us into various discourses.
i transitioned because "boy" and "man" felt like a cage. because i had all of these feelings for so long that i couldn't express - and with transitioning, i could.
i then re-identified myself a few years later - it/its pronouns, changed my name to doe - because "girl" and "woman" felt like a cage too. it was like opening a world of possibility and then drawing a box on the floor while saying "if i leave this box i'll die." i still consider myself a woman in many ways, but opened it up for myself.
i'm thinking about this stuff because i saw Kamala was asked about trans healthcare and how unsatisfying her answer felt.
Kamala was asked about trans people, whether we should have "gender-affirming care" in this country. Her answer was that we should "follow the law" - after a followup question she iterated that it's "a decision that doctors will make in terms of what is medically necessary"
obviously, this is the standard Dem model. like the way they talked about gay people and gay marriage before the courts ruled it was legal.
but god this is so far behind the times. when i started HRT nearly 10 years ago it was on an informed consent model. no need for therapist notes. no psych evals. just me, walking into planned parenthood, and telling them what i wanted, and them telling me the risks and changes associated.
i've been hearing this kind of line from (a certain kind of) trans person over the last few years. the people i was arguing against when trying to open up discourses on transness. it's so strange to see people who have every reason to understand why this view is fucked peddle it.
and idk, maybe i'm wrong to feel this way but it feels like what was practically common sense for the trans people that came before us is gone, lost to the world of Spectacle.
@exiliaex but they dont have every reason to understand why it's fucked, conformity to power for it's own sake is a good survival strategy
when it came to gender discourses i was always interested in empathizing with the vastly varied ways people can present themselves. the unique contexts and situations we find ourselves in, separate from the models designed to organize us. in every discourse about gender i was trying to open doors to possibility.