type of girl who's become so numb

@nyx i can't feel you there

@nyx i listened to linkin park on repeat the first half of yesterday

@unmind lmao really I ended up listening to them last night for the first time in like well over a decade

@nyx someone on here a few months ago was complaining about kids these days only use linkin park as a meme and i've been listening to them a lot since then. i don't have quite the same association between them and my ex-best friend that i have with NIN even though I think I like NIN better

@unmind they've always been used as a meme lol. a lot of the earliest videos I remember on youtube and newgrounds used their music. they were the first band I ever liked when I was a preteen so there's some permanent nostalgia associated with them

@nyx @unmind i remember being like 13 or 14 and realizing that Linkin Park was cringe but also I listened to Queen and classical music and it took me until I was almost 15 to resolve that conflict by just becoming extremely emo and deciding that Linkin Park was cringe because it was for posers who weren’t really in the scene.

I still secretly liked Linkin Park the whole time.

@destroy @unmind I've never in my life identified with the emo scene but I respect this grind ngl

@unmind @nyx imagine not clinging extremely hard to an excuse to wear makeup and grow out your hair and wear women’s clothing and also shave your body hair(yes mom that’s definitely part of it too I don’t make the rules)

@destroy @unmind for me it was wanting to grow my hair long like a thrash metalhead lmao. because I hadn't gotten into goth yet (which is where I really got the gateway into experimenting with gender presentation with makeup and whatnot) and was like very deeply neurotically repressed, but there was still a part of me that was like aha but what if I grew my hair out really long in a totally normal cis way aha (she didn't know)

@nyx @destroy @unmind real, i grew my hair out as a teen for the same reason lmao. i still kinda consider my hair to be almost as much a metalhead thing as it is an expression of femininity tbh

@swampwitch @nyx @destroy @unmind i grew my hair out originally to be able to properly headbang and stand apart from all the short-haired sXe hardcore kids in my hs, but as soon as it hit shoulder-length i developed this massive anxiety about ever having short hair again. also got "ma'am'd" a lot and it didn't bother me at all. normal cis behavior.

@nyx @unmind @rowb1t @swampwitch straightedge ruined the reputation of the whole punk subculture in so many high schools in the 2000s lmao

@destroy @nyx @unmind @swampwitch i just thought it was so ridiculous. it's like... y'all are minors. not doing drugs or drinking is just the default. i didn't even drink back then but i still made fun of the sXe kids for that reason, despite the fact i was deep in the hardcore scene at the time -- mostly because there was no metal scene to speak of.

@nyx @swampwitch @rowb1t @unmind

it was definitely hilarious that they were 16 year old rebelswho defined themselves by following the rules