the other day i posted about thinking about how i want to dedicate my time moving forward - but i didn't really have an answer, and i still don't.
what i know is that i want to draw connections. i want to learn how things have been connected, both the "proper" connections and the connections others call "tainting". i want to see the connections between even disparate localities. i want to explore the gaps between translations. there are so many gifts out there, waiting to be found, waiting for a new connection to be drawn.
i also want to try to connect some socialities. to see what worlds are waiting to be born, even just between people.
@eris this is me attempting to overcome my loss of wonder. i went through a series of understandings that led me into believing that the world was already understood, that things are what they are and are never anything else, and that it was all useless anyways because everyone dies, everyone suffers, everyone and everything has been successfully integrated into the capitalist machine.
now i can see how much salvage and translation is necessary to even pretend that everything has been "successfully integrated"
i've been burnt out too - but i realized i was building my own burnout. chasing what could never satiate me. pushing against immovable objects. it doesn't have to be like that.
I'll definitely be keeping an eye out for your findings as you look for that sense of wonder again!
@exiliaex I feel like engaging with similar things for me did restore a lot of that for me. And it makes me stop to look at the plants all the time when I’m walking around outside.
i'm going to need to learn a lot of new skills. i've been working on my plant identification and bird identification (since that's the closest life i have to me living in the outskirts of this city). but i need to move it to the next step. i need to start collecting seeds, collecting samples, running my own personal tests on them. i've got a few plants pressed into a notebook of mine, which i intended to use for plant identification moving forward. i think that's a good idea moving forward.
i've got a collection of about 100 crow feathers i've collected over the last couple years - i want to sew them into an outfit that i then imbue with the relationship to the crows.
i want to figure out a good way to map out differing scales of interactions in a particular space, boundaries between spaces, etc. that one is really stumping me. i think it might necessarily be a collective project.