ZiaNitori @ZiaNitori@masto.anarch.cc

btw we dont seize or wield power, we just take collective action, power is what bad guys have, we're the meek powerless and pitiful but also we're going to tear down oppressive institutions with our unmight

in liberal ideology, which is grounded in the capitalist marketplace

*autogenerated activist noises*

like "anti individualistic collective bond" sounds like some dumb bullshit out of a tanks mouth

sorry but that post with the invisible committee quote sucks so fucking hard. i'm tired of collectivist religious psychosis it always leads to interpersonal domination. autonomy is not possible when individuals are dependent on a group to survive and swearing loyalty is just giving permission for people to act retributive if they can frame you as acting not in the best interests of the group, this is just horseshit feelgood rhetoric that npcs like because they feel good when they imagine other people who they agree with morally taking care of them. if you care about autonomy at all you do away with the shared bullshitting and as individuals do your best to work with the other individuals around you. pretending we're all on the same team here and getting shocked when someone is different than you thought is a social tactic to conserve norms that advantage you specifically, it's weaselly and incoherent and it creates an environment that favors generally agreeable people, the perfect subjects of interpersonal domination so you create a resource for more fascistic types to use to more effectively dominate other more actually autonomous people. we are complicated creatures and what we say we want/do obviously does not match our actual behaviors/motivations, anyone who tells you to overlook this is trying to trick you and you should try to understand why

deutasteride is definitely affecting something but idk if i can put it to words yet

reading about/quotes from psychotic europeans talking about torture makes me even more certain in conviction that the black plague is my favorite figure in the history of politics

might end up doing a full marathon today but we'll see how my knees feel. going to read after i go for the 2 mile jog with the boys since i woke up at an inconvenient time again but this time i'm just not gonna smoke (which i'm pretty sure was already the plan i just "forgot")

sleep schedule keeps falling on a weird time which makes me not want to read that day, should fix it by tomorrow but i've skipped 2 days of reading so far. i want to read the book a chapter at a time so i can really focus on it

gonna try reading after i run today instead of when i wake up cause i think it fits better

got down to 4 steps per breath at some parts today, once my body recovers i'm going to be able to run so fucking far

i was able to do the thing where i'm able to reduce my heartrate and breathrate and feel like i'm gaining energy while i run. it always happens after the first 3 miles. i noticed i could swap from 2 steps per breath to 3 and it helped me reduce cramping a ton. also noticing that emotional self control skills improving is causing the biggest gains in how far i'm able to run. i'm pretty certain i'm gonna be able to do a marathon or two before the end of the summer

did u no i'm the same height as blaziken?

thinking there's a correlation between how willing someone is to just respond to shit while they're half asleep without waking themselves up and how scared that person is of other people. it feels like the same jumps in reasoning are made when someone is just saying whatever random bullshit feels like a response to what someone just said out of context both in talking to someone while their half asleep and while getting into an argument in which they start getting defensive and that defensive behavior comes with an unthinking rigidity that to me is the signature of fear. i wish i could just give people the feeling i have of not needing to respond, of being comfortable enough with myself to not need to prove anything about myself to others or at least whatever is in me that gets me to act like that's true sometimes. it feels like a lot of yall learned to just look up to heros so they'd save you instead of trying to find the courage in you to be one

either gonna fast today or do acid tomorrow, then fast most likely the day after

so gillis didnt go thread mode, he just started talking like he was about to address my argument, never did and tried to spread a rumour about me being a discord cultist. how do yall not see how transparent these social climbing fascists are? they're running a simple script that's solving for social power, so they dont have the ability to process other things so when you get them to investigate a line of questioning their answers are hollow because fascists yearning for social power only want you to answer those questions as far as it allows them access to the ingroup. when the space is oversaturated with fascists they stop caring less and less about these rules and being consistent and they can just focus of making rhetoric that appeals to the sensibilities of fascists. yall just let them in because they wave a flag well, very fucking embarrassing, please improve your people skills

finished fight club!

falling behind where i expected to be in the duel links tourney so i'm probably not getting back on twitter until it's over so i can catch up. i'm halfway through fight club, though i skipped reading today for duel links and my weights been stagnating (i've definitely been eating more) so for that and other reasons i'm gonna fast today, might even fast for longer to help clear my head

explained that poorly, i'm falling back asleep because my body is still tired because i've been heavily working out, before i wasnt falling back asleep cause i'd get on the computer right after i woke up and i would have what felt like a normal amount of soreness after working out the day before, now, while i still feel sore it doesnt effect how hard i can work out the next day, at least not noticeably

oh today is the first day i successfully started the day reading. i've noticed now that i have the rule not to start the day on hte computer, i'll just start falling asleep again after i wake up. i think this is because i've been working out really heavily (relatively speaking) and normally i end up really sore the next day, but these last few days i've been able to keep up the same intensity and i've been sometimes even sleeping for like 12 hours. i stg my body just heals itself like i'm woverine or some shit if i just sleep instead of feeding my computer addiction lmao

i'd probably look cuter if i got tan. i gotta stop being nocturnal so i can go running a lot during the day